Don't force yourself to remember, instead relax

We've all experienced this classic self-sabotage block, the frustrating, "it's on the tip of my tongue" syndrome. We desperately want to recall a familiar fact, but we go blank.

Our heart rate speeds up, our muscle tension increases and our digestive system knots. Then the more we try to remember, the more anxious we become, and the more we do forget. It is the classic vicious circle.

The hardest thing in the world to do at this point is to just relax, but that is just what is needed.

If you relax, you will be able to begin the unconscious, free association that lets you retrieve the connections that were made at the time of the original event. In other words, you will remember.

Forcing yourself to remember bypasses this unconscious process, so encourage yourself to relax.

Some long-term relaxation techniques people find helpful include biofeedback, meditating, yoga, visualization, hypnosis and an unsinkable sense of humor. Only the latter offers instant relief without some preparation.

As you struggle with stress, remember it can be useful. There is strong evidence the natural hormones produced when you are excited or under stress work to lock memories into your brain permanently.