The lost art of theater etiquette

Etiquette: the customary code of polite behavior in society, or among members of a particular profession or group: the conduct or procedure required by good breeding or prescribed by authority to be observed in social or official life. Those are the two definitions I found that best fit what I have to say next.

While I was congratulating a young actor on his fine performance this weekend, he said “I hope your next column will be on etiquette in the theater.” 

It is. 

Having been raised in a “You will do things correctly according to society’s rules” house, I have, even in these casual times, a great deal of trouble when people do not adhere to prescribed etiquette at the theater, in church, at the symphony or opera etc. I am, probably going to be called a bore or a snob, and maybe I am.

My seat at the theater was behind a man who wore and did not remove, a very tall hat, and a woman who was on her lighted cell phone the entire production. While she did not realize it, the actors could see her light and were distracted by it. So was I. The man with the hat remarked to her that he had known she would be bored. She concurred.

The show was not boring, and the actors and staff had worked hard for many weeks to bring it to fruition. They were totally invested in the gift they were presenting to the audience. 

Theater etiquette, as I was taught, requires that one does not eat or drink (it says so right on the door) rattle papers getting something to eat out of a purse, talk out loud, use a cell phone or other electronic device, whistle or shout inappropriately. 

It is highly recommended that children do not put their feet on the tops of the back of the seats in front of them, and one does not leave water bottles, programs and trash on the floor for the members of the production to clean up. 

For the cast and crew who are there to entertain, it is a supreme insult to be ignored as if they don’t exist…ho-hum…this is not my cup of tea…then stay home. A standing ovation, to directors and casts is reserved for truly outstanding work. Not every show deserves that, but it does deserve respect and appreciative applause. 

To go just a little further, sometimes the rules are a little confusing. I don’t like to see short shorts in church, and yet the person wearing them is there, participating in the service. By the same token, many are unsure of when to applaud during a symphony, so there is always a smattering of isolated claps in the wrong places. So what? The persons are there…perhaps enjoying, perhaps learning…perhaps not.

It's hard to be an old curmudgeon in today’s world. These things don’t seem to matter to a lot of people, and yet they still do to many of us in this age group. I know we have to change with the worlds we live in, but I think I’ll just continue to treasure what are the good old days to me.