People sometimes approach me in the grocery store, or at gatherings, and tell me they enjoy reading my column. That makes my day because I don't want to write something that no one reads or likes. What amazes me is that I am recognized. I suppose it is from the totally unflattering picture of my face that accompanies my words. However, I can assure you, that if you want to be sure before you speak to me that you aren't heaping praise on someone who has no idea what you are talking about, you can look at my feet.
If you see an old blue pair of Sketchers with bright and shiny brand-new white shoelaces, you can rest assured you have the right person.
The laces are the giveaway. They mean that Willow, the Collie, needing attention and not getting it, has surreptitiously sneaked a sneaker out the door, and consumed the lace. It also means I really only need one lace, but then, a new one might look a little different from the old one, and they probably don't sell single laces anyway. Oh well, easy enough…go buy a set of new shoelaces. Two are better than one with Willow on the attention path.
To be or not to be isn't even the question here. They are not to be. Do you know that many shoe stores, or at least the ones I inhabit, don't sell shoelaces, and those who do, only sell the ones intended to lace up knee-high boots…in brown. No problem. Turn to the usual solution, Amazon. I can have them by tomorrow, and I don't have to go out today anyway.
Amazon even has shoelace charts, and if you can figure them out, you might get what you are looking for. They range in price from $6.99 to $19.99, and for the most part, are for shoes that don't tie. I must have been thinking back in the '50s about the cost as I was estimating about $1, and why do you need laces for shoes that don't tie?
By now, I suppose you are wondering if the problem is that I only have one pair of shoes. Not so. I have one pair for sitting in choir, one pair for walking from the car to the restaurant and back, another, if it's raining and I only have to be on my feet for a short time. They are all respectable shoes, and they all hurt. Often, I can't be fitted because I have very narrow feet; especially the heels, so I just walk out of anything that doesn't lace up or fit tightly.
Today my comfy old blue shoes are sporting the brightest white laces, ordered yesterday and on my porch this morning, long enough that I get to tie them in double bows, and for the bargain price of $8.99. Who can ask for anything more? Oh, and I will be careful not to blithely identify myself to anyone looking down as they walk.
