Social media and the ugly world of negativity

What do your social media comments say about you?

In these days where people seem to be seeking out division rather than unity, I’m quite fascinated but mostly appalled at what comes across social media feeds.

Why are so many people so driven to immediately turn to harmful words, negativity, ridicule and hatred when they post messages?

It’s almost as though they receive some sort of satisfaction in lording their opinions over others.

I see so many social media posts that go right to hatred and negativity when it comes to trying to make a point about whatever social outburst they are dealing with for the day.

I can see trying to promote your point of view and opinion, but why the negativity?

Why is it so much easier for people — and I know it’s not all people, but a large majority — who are making comments about social topics to belittle and bring down those who oppose them rather than simply stating what is positive about the point they are trying to make?

Here’s a harmless example of what I mean.

Let’s say I love apples and hate oranges.

Why would my first instinct be to go on social media and rail away on the detriments of oranges rather than promoting everything great about apples?

If I believe apples are the greatest food ever, why not hit the social media hot spots and discuss why I think apples are so doggone awesome rather than berating the orange?

Social media has opened the door to being vicious, mean and hateful for several reasons.

For one, there is anonymity in distance.

When people post on social media, there’s no one there to confront them about their opinion, so they feel more at home ripping others' beliefs not like their own to shreds with no threat of retaliation other than more bombastic words that push people farther apart.

People feel safer saying things online than they would in person, and there's no immediate emotional feedback like seeing someone hurt or upset.

Another reason is that outrage drives engagement.

Negativity tends to spread faster than positivity and encouragement. Anger, outrage and hatred tend to go viral more quickly than positive or neutral content, and in a world of instant gratification, it’s getting those almighty hits and responses that makes the poster feel important and powerful.

There’s also great comfort in getting responses from those with whom you agree.

I know one person who posts on Facebook constantly, and it’s all done negatively. It’s about tearing down the other side rather than promoting the good from this person’s own point of view.

The problem is this person’s posts are never their own thoughts and words. They are always memes and words passed along from someone else’s thoughts.

What takes place when that happens is it makes this person seem far more intelligent. There’s a “look what I just wrote” mentality that is accompanied by a fallacy, that being this person is simply regurgitating what someone else said or thought. It’s almost as though this person has no mind of their own.

Criticizing “the other side” creates a unique way to bond with your group, with the people who are like-minded. It reinforces beliefs, and users often follow like-minded accounts, creating feedback loops that reinforce negative attitudes.

It’s like most late-night talk show hosts whose audiences agree with them wholeheartedly.

They tear down others in the name of comedy, get a wild cheer of applause, not because they are funny or witty, but because they said something hateful the studio audience agrees with.

Never mind it is hateful speech disguised as comedy.

Some users post negative comments to gain approval or attention from others because public shaming has become a form of entertainment or moral expression.

There must be something that is titillating about expressing one's obviously correct opinion by squashing and demeaning others.

Unfortunately, all that exposure to negative news shapes moods and outlooks. It infests itself in us, this darkness making itself at home inside of us as it begins oozing out of every pore. It becomes this vicious cycle of two sides of an opinion trying to one-up the other, when in fact it isn’t changing anyone’s mind.

However, it sure does make people feel better about themselves.

Social media presents a perfect storm of human psychology, technology and cultural habits, and it appears as though battle lines have been drawn and the weapon of choice is hatred in words and opinions.

Social media has become the avenue that rewards negativity because negativity gets attention.

Sadly, it feels kind of like a misguided venture.

What we post on a daily basis on social media says a lot more about who we are than it does about the opinions and beliefs of those we don’t agree with, and when one is posting negative comments by tearing down the other side rather than building up their own personal beliefs by expressing positive virtues, it only showcases the insecurities, self-loathing and egotistical nature of one’s own life.

In a sense social media has become the new gun of the masses.

We’ve heard for decades about the debate on gun control. “Guns don’t kill people; people kill people.”

We’ve also heard the old adage, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me.”

That’s not true at all.

Words just take a little longer.