Neither groundhog nor drain clog can dampen his joy
The hallowed groundhog, having said his piece, promptly retreated back to his subterranean hideaway. Had he hung around for just another 24 hours, he would have found himself smack in the middle of a 60 F midwinter day. Six more weeks of winter or not, a day like that sparks as much joy in the heart of the average Ohioan as a firecracker on the Fourth of July.
I celebrated by riding my bicycle the extra-long way home from work that evening and was still cranked on the energy of a great day when I descended the basement stairs after my shower to grab a basket of clean clothes from the laundry room. That’s when the day took a considerable turn. The shower I had just enjoyed upstairs had decided to make an encore appearance downstairs. The drain in the basement floor was already underwater, and the tide was rising!
It’s funny what a man will do when water is gurgling up from the ground into his empire. I, still clothed only in a towel and house slippers, quickly did the first thing that came to mind and reached down into the warm, gray slurry, hoping to somehow magically correct the misdirected flow.
I’d successfully completed this maneuver once before when the cat had batted a half-dozen hair ties, several bobby pins and a small stuffed mouse into the drain trap just in time for the washing machine to empty its bladder into the hole. That effort had been heroic. This effort was merely dumb. And while I did, in fact, extract a handful of debris from the murky depths, the editorial standards of this family-friendly publication prohibit me from expounding upon its name and nature. Suffice to say, I may be permanently scarred.
Clearly, this was a situation far beyond my meager capabilities as an amateur plunger pusher and drain snake operator. So after ordering a halt to all household water flow — most specifically the taking of showers and flushing of toilets — I called a professional. While perhaps a typical response for most folks, this was a giant leap for me. I’ve long prided myself on taking on whatever life and homeownership were willing to throw my way with little more than a mess of gumption and a smartphone full of YouTube do-it-yourself videos. I’ve finally found my limit, and the line in the sand is drawn in partially dissolved toilet paper.
Arriving bright and early the following morning, the drain guy punched right through the madness with a smile on his face and song in his heart. While no mention was made of cat toys as a contributing factor, I will continue to harbor my own suspicions. Order was restored to our corner of the universe by midday. One could say we were flushed with joy!
Kristin and John Lorson would love to hear from you. Write Drawing Laughter, P.O. Box 170, Fredericksburg, OH 44627, or email John at jlorson@alonovus.com.
