Forbearance calls us to break the cycle

“Lovers should never be without the oil of forbearance.”

—Minna Antrim

In April 2020 Steve heartrendingly said goodbye to the only father figure he has ever known — a man who he loved so dearly, who baptized him, who helped him know Christ on a deeper level and who preached the word of God with him all over the world.

Steve became like the rest of his 13 children. Steve called him Dad, and Steve's children became the man's grandchildren. The man felt that after the horrific act he and his tribe did to Steve and his mother, he needed to raise Steve as his own.

Some of you may know where I am going. Some of you may be thinking you have heard this story but forgot the details. Others don't have a clue where I am going. The question of why Steve wanted to even be around the man is a good question to be asked. Some people might ask why didn't Steve kill him for killing Steve's birth father.

Nate Saint, a missionary pilot, along with four other men, brought the word of God to an unreachable tribe in Ecuador. The tribe was open to the missionaries at first but turned and killed the men. Nate was killed by the man his son Steve would call Dad.

It is a powerful story of forbearance. Forbearance means not taking revenge when we can. Many people like to quote the Bible verse that says “an eye for an eye” and miss the verse that says “love your enemies.” In fact, love your enemies was not lost on the widows of the five men who were killed because they went back and lived among the tribe that had killed their husbands.

Imagine how hard it would be to live with the people who took the life of your loved one. However, that is the message of the cross: forgive those who hurt us and show the love of Christ.

I like to read many different versions of the Bible. I feel like it gives me a better understanding of what the Bible says. I have studied different versions and found many versions try to be as faithful to the original as possible.

We have to understand that when people translate the Bible, they are dealing with three primary languages: English, Hebrew and Greek. There is some Arabic thrown in the mixture. The Greek, I believe, has 3-4 million more words than we have, and there are many different ways to say the same things.

In the NIV, one of the fruits of the Spirit is forbearance. I thought to myself, "What in the world does that mean?"

Like I said earlier, forbearance means not taking revenge when we have every right to. The KJV and NKJV use the word longsuffering. If you really think about it, there is really no difference in the meaning. The Good News version says patience.

As Christians we are called to be patient. Now I realize patience is one of the hardest things on the planet to develop. That is why it is among the fruits of the Spirit.

They say patience is a virtue. It also is a pain in the neck. No one in their right mind likes to be patient. We want everything right now. It's like that one commercial that proclaims, “It's my money, and I want it now!” However, there is something about waiting that makes something that much sweeter, like when we work hard to get something and we enjoy it that much more because we know how hard it was to get it in the first place.

When we get hurt by others, it's way too easy to get revenge on that person. We would love to make that person pay for their sins against us. I know people who never let anything go. They ruminate on it for years on end. Instead of letting go and moving on, they hold on and become bitter over it.

The word ruminate is the idea of a cow eating grass. The cow chews on the grass for a long period of time. When we let the root of bitterness take hold of us, we really become ensnared in it.

The Bible says over and over it is God who will repay. However, how long will that take? We sometimes think God is asleep at the wheel, but I assure you that in the end all the accounts will be balanced.

The Bible tells us everyone is loved by Christ and is able to be redeemed by his blood. If they come to Christ and their sins are forgiven, they might make it right by apologizing or paying restitution.

However, it works both ways. We must be willing to forgive and say we will not hold it against them. It may not be as extreme as the wives living with the men who killed their husbands, but if we want God to make all the wrongs right, we forfeit the right to get even.

The light defeats the darkness, but if we repay the wrong done to us, we are just going back and forth, trying to hurt the other person more. We must be the ones to break the cycle and show love. We don't have to be best friends. Just say hi to them at the store or ask people how they are doing. Pray for them — no, not for harm but for their good. By doing that, we let the Lord repay, and we will sleep better at night.

Kyle Snyder can be emailed at kylesnyder86@yahoo.com.