Lefthanders Day the right way to celebrate

Many, many years ago in college, I was in the midst of struggling through a basic English class. Part of our grade was based on turning in our notebook with our notes from throughout the course.

Like any smart lefthander would do, I opened my notebook and began taking notes from the back of the notebook toward the front.

Why on God’s green earth would I do that?

Because the spiral on notebooks is always on the left side — built for righties — and I never liked writing over the top of it because the spiral always got in the way and made things more difficult.

Needless to say, my grade got docked because I did this insane thing.

My professor asked me why I did it, and I explained things to him in lefthanders lingo, and lo and behold, he saw my point of view and took away the deduction.

I bring all of this up because Aug. 13 is International Lefthanders Day, a day that should get way more mileage than it does, because for centuries us lefties have had to deal with such diabolical issues as thumb-piercing scissors, backward can openers, computer mice and a plethora of objects ill-fatedly designed to adhere to righties, leaving us right-minded people on the dark side.

International Lefthanders Day celebrates the differences and distinctiveness of left-handed individuals, and rightfully so.

This day was first celebrated by Dean R. Campbell, founder of Lefthanders International, Inc., in 1976, a man who saw the many issues facing lefties and did something about it.

Continuing the tradition created by Campbell, the Left-Handers Club launched International Lefthanders Day as a part of their organization on Aug. 13, 1992. The aim was to create awareness of the advantages and disadvantages of left-handedness. The holiday is now celebrated worldwide, and some of the greatest people in history were or still are left-handed, like Mother Teresa, Walt Disney, Charlie Chaplin, Babe Ruth and Albert Einstein, to name a few.

By the numbers, 12% of the world is left-handed.

Oddly enough, lefties are an astonishing 11 times likelier to suffer from allergies, and this guy is one who can confirm that with great accuracy.

I was actually tested for allergies in middle school, a medieval method of taking a board with 80 needle-like spikes on it that was meant to induce drastic pain by the doctor pushing the board down on my arm to create 80 identical puncture wounds.

It looked like a miniature gang from Hee Haw tried to plow my arm.

My psyche remains forever punctured because of that experience, but I digress.

A drop of some type of food was placed on each puncture spot, and if it rose into a red bump, I was allergic.

Well, needless to say, a couple of minutes later, my arm looked like I’d been shot by about five dozen kids wielding BB guns from approximately six inches away. Yes, 58 out of 80 foods later, I was on a very special diet, no longer allowed to eat corn or any product with corn in it, chocolate or eggs and anything with eggs in it, among the 58 no-no foods.

That meant no baked goods, no chips, no candy bars — basically nothing good.

Oh, veggies were golden. I could chow down on as many of those as I wanted.

Thanks, left-handedness!

I guess one positive is that 94% of left-handers are blessed with bilateral limb movements.

Say what?

The definition of bilateral movements is any motion that engages both sides of the body simultaneously in a symmetrical pattern. This means using both arms or both legs to perform tasks.

Obviously, that speaks volumes as to why, as a youngster, I could just as easily pick my nose right-handed or left-handed.

70%: the percentage of left-handed people who have left-brain dominance when it comes to language control.

Language? Dominance?

I’m still trying to master simple English phrases and such. Did I mention that the English class with the notebook in the aforementioned story wasn’t exactly the stuff of legends?

Being a lefthander has always come with a stigma. In olden days of yore, it was a sign of being possessed by the devil. Historically, parents have discouraged kids from being left-handed.

All demonstrations for anything technical or otherwise are usually done from the right-handed perspective.

Have you ever tried to rev up a chainsaw?

You guessed it, the pull lever is on the right side.

See what myself and the 12% have had to deal with our whole lives?

Fortunately, left-handedness is connected to enhanced creativity, problem-solving and divergent thinking, so while we can’t seem to grasp the ability to use a can opener, at least we can figure out that we can instead use a hammer and screwdriver to dismantle said can.

Yes, the world can be a challenging place for everyone, but for us lefties, the simplest things can be so doggone demanding.

It’s good that we have one day for everyone to sympathize with us in our agony.