An appreciation of TV's most well-adjusted couple

Here’s my premise: That of all the marriages in television’s Golden Age, the healthiest of them all also was the weirdest.

I present to you Gomez and Morticia Addams.

But before deconstructing their “creepy and kooky, mysterious and spooky” relationship, please consider this quick scan of other hit shows of the time and the marital status of their protagonists:

—“The Andy Griffith Show” - Sheriff Taylor was a widower taking care of his son with his aunt’s assistance.

—“Family Affair” - Uncle Bill, a bachelor, took care of his orphaned nieces and nephew … with the help of a butler.

—“The Beverly Hillbillies” - Jed Clampett was Ellie May’s father, but there was no mother living in that mansion.

—“Flipper” - Again, a dad with sons, no wife around.

—“My Three Sons” - See “Flipper.”

—“Bewitched” - Darrin was married, but to a witch ... and his mother-in-law despised him.

—"I Dream of Jeannie” - Tony Nelson, an astronaut who lived with a genie, finally married her … and the show soon tanked.

—“Petticoat Junction” - Three pretty daughters, no parents around, just a lazy uncle.

—“Gunsmoke” - Courageous lawman, no wife in evidence.

—“The Rifleman” - See “Gunsmoke,” add in an annoying son.

—“Bonanza” - Single father, living with three grown sons.

—“The Man from U.N.C.L.E.” - Two spies, no wives around.

—“Batman” - Millionaire crime fighter raising his ward, no wife in evidence, with a butler and an aunt lending a hand.

—“Julia” - Single mom raising a son on her own.

—“The Mary Tyler Moore Show” - See “Julia,” subtract the kid.

Certainly, you can sense a pattern at work here, one that suggests traditional marriages were not at all in vogue.

I’m no expert in the field of television trends, but it’s pretty easy to conclude this one was a direct backlash to the phony TV husbands and wives of an earlier era. Ward and June Cleaver, for example, exemplified an ideal that was just silly, as did the couples who headlined “Father Knows Best” and “The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet,” both particularly unrealistic.

What could have been missing in those relationships?

Might it have been something as simple as love, the connection made between two people who had found their life partners?

Again, please allow me to introduce Morticia and Gomez.

They lived quite comfortably in a world of their own creation, one that included a son and a daughter, both well-adjusted kids who were happy in their home. Also part of the family unit was an uncle, a grandmother, a butler and the occasional cousin.

And then there was Thing, a disembodied hand with more personality than most secondary characters around the dial.

Life in the Addams household looked positively outrageous to outsiders, what with electric trains crashing into one another, a bed of nails used for relaxation, a carnivorous plant named Cleopatra, blasting caps and a guillotine used to behead dolls.

Gomez and Morticia frequently dueled using swords. He stood on his head to facilitate the thinking process, and she routinely snipped flowers from their stems, leaving only thorns showing.

None of this behavior struck any of them as peculiar; quite the opposite was true, and they existed in harmony, reveling in what others perceived as eccentricities, things they knew to be normal.

Morticia, after many years of marriage, still cast a loving spell over her husband, especially when she spoke French. She too expressed her affection openly, calling Gomez “bubula,” a term of endearment that underscored their obvious mutual happiness.

When they quarreled, which didn’t happen often, they made sure to patch things up quickly, apologizing easily, not wanting problems to take root and threaten what they knew to be precious. After the storm had passed, he’d pull a lit cigar from his breast pocket, and she would sit in her wicker chair, languidly inhaling from a hookah as Lurch coaxed soothing sounds from the harpsichord in the parlor, where a two-headed tortoise stood and a sailor’s leg protruded from a shark’s maw.

As content as they were in their gloomy habitat, the Addamses were hardly reclusive, often helping city and school officials to unsnarl bureaucratic knots and assisting neighbors in need. True, Uncle Fester often wanted to “shoot ’em in the back” when nosy interlopers interfered with the family’s karma, but he never did.

Pugsley and sister Wednesday were portrayed through a sympathetic lens that made their oddities feel acceptable, and when Cousin Itt slid down the chimney as Grandmama honed her knife-throwing skills, the Addams Family felt complete.

At the heart of it all stood Gomez and Morticia, exemplifying all that was good in a successful marriage, whether it was getting a moon tan or savoring a bowl of eye-of-newt soup.

The show only lasted a handful of seasons, but it remains one of my favorites, far more engaging and interesting than “The Munsters,” a knockoff meant to imitate its macabre sensibility.

Gomez and Morticia proved it takes two to tango in style.

Mike Dewey can be reached at Carolinamiked@aol.com or 1317 Troy Road, Ashland, OH 44805. He invites you to join him on his Facebook page, where Thing delivers any and all emails.