Wedding truths: What no one tells couples

The phrase “the perfect wedding” gets used so often it can start to sound like there’s a single gold standard every couple should aspire to. In reality, that idea is misleading. Couples have their own visions of what perfection looks like, shaped by their personalities, values, families and finances. A lavish ballroom affair, a cozy backyard gathering or a simple courthouse ceremony followed by dinner with loved ones can all be perfect — just in very different ways.

Weddings have long been rooted in tradition, and for many couples, those customs remain an important part of the celebration. Rituals such as the first dance, cutting the cake together or tossing the bridal bouquet connect modern couples to generations before them. Traditional weddings are often associated with elegance, and that sense of refinement can be achieved without excess if couples focus on thoughtful details.

Lighting, for example, can transform a space. Candlelight brings warmth and intimacy to both ceremonies and receptions, making even large venues feel welcoming. A few strategically placed candles along an aisle or around an altar can instantly elevate the atmosphere while table candles at the reception maintain that elegant glow throughout the evening. Similarly, incorporating vintage items can add character and charm. Old-fashioned vases, heirloom picture frames or antique décor pieces evoke weddings of earlier eras and create visual interest without overwhelming the space.

Even the drinks served can reinforce an elegant theme. A signature cocktail — perhaps a classic drink or a modern twist on a vintage favorite — gives guests something memorable to enjoy and ties subtly into the overall aesthetic. Attire also plays a role. While many brides and grooms are embracing less traditional looks, classic wedding gowns and black tuxedos continue to symbolize timeless elegance for couples who prefer a more conventional approach. Details like chair sashes or coordinated seating décor further reinforce a polished look, greeting guests with a sense of occasion as soon as they arrive.

Of course, weddings are not just emotional milestones; they also are major financial undertakings. Experts at the online wedding resource Zola estimated couples would spend around $36,000 on weddings in 2025. That figure can be intimidating, especially for newly engaged couples, but it reflects a range of choices and circumstances. Not every wedding includes all the elements that drive costs upward, and couples have more flexibility than they might initially think. Creating a budget early in the planning process can provide clarity and confidence, helping couples align their dreams with their financial reality.

Marriage itself is one of the oldest social institutions, evolving over thousands of years while remaining deeply meaningful. Despite changes in how weddings look and feel, people continue to tie the knot in large numbers. More than 2 million marriages were recorded in the United States in 2022, and tens of thousands more took place in Canada in recent years. At the same time, many modern couples are opting for simpler, more streamlined celebrations to save both money and time.

Streamlining a wedding doesn’t mean sacrificing significance. Keeping the ceremony short and focused is one approach. Couples who are not bound by lengthy religious traditions can choose to emphasize the exchange of vows and minimize additional readings or rituals. Even those planning religious ceremonies can often work with officiants to maintain tradition while keeping the service concise. Clear communication also helps. Assigning specific roles to members of the wedding party ensures smooth transitions and prevents confusion, allowing the day to unfold more efficiently.

Logistical decisions matter as well. Hosting the ceremony and reception at the same venue eliminates travel time and transportation costs, making the experience easier for guests and vendors alike. Choosing a centrally located venue can further reduce complications and may even remove the need for overnight accommodations. Many couples also find peace of mind in hiring a professional wedding coordinator, whose neutral perspective and organizational expertise can keep the day on schedule and handle unexpected issues behind the scenes.

Budgeting remains central to all these decisions. The first step is identifying where the money will come from. While parents once traditionally covered wedding costs, that is less common today. With the average age of marriage now in the early 30s, many couples are financially independent and pay for their weddings themselves, sometimes with help from family members. Some couples even consult financial planners to determine what they can realistically afford and how to balance wedding expenses with long-term financial goals.

Finally, prioritization is key. Venues and rentals typically account for the largest share of wedding budgets, but every couple values different things. For some, a breathtaking venue is nonnegotiable; for others, an intimate backyard ceremony feels just right. By identifying what matters most and allocating funds accordingly, couples can create celebrations that feel authentic, meaningful and — in their own way — perfectly suited to them.