Column: In defense of houses — a humorous plea to stop “home shaming”

I believe it is time to address the subject of house harassment. It is a delicate topic, but that the situation has survived this long without something being said is unconscionable.

For instance, how would you feel to have people make remarks about your construction and décor right in front of you? It happens to houses all the time, and it’s time for someone to come to their defense. Understand that houses have no say or control over how they are built, and no house has ever been consulted about its taste in interior decorating.

At a recent open house in a new development, the participating houses were subject to all sorts of insensitive remarks. The windows in one place misted over when she heard disparaging comments concerning the size of her back porch. Another place suffered acute embarrassment when someone called attention to her rather sprawling shape.

People don’t mean to be unkind; they’re just unaware houses have feelings. Criticism might be warranted, but it’s never welcome. Houses, just like humans, don’t want their feelings hurt. How would you feel if someone said you were tacky or functionally obsolete? You would be hurt, angry or both.

A house itself should never be held accountable for its façade, floor plan or decorations. It is totally at the mercy of its designer, builder or owner. Underneath its very ornate décor might lie a conservative place longing to be done in neutrals. In the competitive world of real estate, it’s vital for houses to feel good about themselves. A dwelling demoralized by derogatory comments stands in mortal danger of depreciation.

Look at it this way: A house isn’t poorly built; it’s constructionally deprived, handicapped. A house isn’t tacky; it’s artistically handicapped. A house isn’t overpriced; it’s value-magnified.

Please keep this in mind the next time you visit a deprived, handicapped, value-magnified dwelling. That house will be so grateful.

Laura Moore can be emailed at lehmoore1@gmail.com.