Column: Race to the Son-in-Law Hall of Fame is a marathon, not a sprint

Did I ever tell you about the time my mother-in-law nominated me for the Son-in-Law Hall of Fame?

No? That’s because it could never happen. Now if there was a hallowed hall for hopelessly overrated, chronically underachieving, “not nearly good enough for my daughter” sons-in-law, then Kristin’s mother would probably head up a petition campaign to honor me.

That’s fine. We share a mutual dislike for each other. It’s the only thing we’ve agreed upon in 39 years!

The good news for the next generation is my wife more than makes up for her mother’s shortcomings when it comes to recognizing an exceptional son-in-law. And if there was, in fact, a Hall of Fame committee to which Kristin could appeal on behalf of our daughter Charlotte’s husband, she would be camped out on their doorstep right now wearing a “Nominate Andrew” T-shirt and hoisting a hand-drawn sign highlighting his many virtues. If there were any doubts among its members, the following anecdote would ice the deal.

Early this summer Kristin was endlessly fretting about training for a half-marathon to take place in late September. An accomplished runner with a mess of full marathons and scores of lower-mileage events under her belt, she has persistently and perennially complained about training in the summer heat.

“It’s so hot every day. I don’t know how I’m ever going to train for this,” she’d whine.

Having lived through 20 years of this cycle, my response has always been to remind the sleep giant that even though it gets hot in the afternoon, there is a portion of every summer day when the temperature is simply wonderful: “It’s called the morning, Kristin, and if you simply pry yourself away from your pillow, you’ll find a whole new world out there.”

Andrew, being too polite and respectful to deliver such snark, instead responded with a kinder, gentler approach.

“Kristin, what if I signed up to run the race with you?” he said. “Then we could each keep track of our training and report back to each other.”

Problem solved! With the added motivation of toeing up to the line with her son-in-law in the fall, Kristin banged out the training miles all summer long, dutifully rising and running even when the pillow cried out for just one more hour of rest.

And Andrew? He didn’t run — well, very nearly not at all. By race day he had logged a whopping total of 5 miles — and those had come just two weeks before in what basically amounted to a shoe test. Nevertheless, the two of them lined up side by side amid thousands of fellow crazies in downtown Akron and stepped off into the predawn darkness for their 13.1-mile run.

Charlotte and I set up a family cheering section along with kids at around mile 10 to intercept the pair, one of whom appeared to be having the time of her life! The other was hanging in there, each step a jog closer to his well-earned spot in the Son-in-Law Hall of Fame!

Kristin and John Lorson would love to hear from you. Write Drawing Laughter, P.O. Box 170, Fredericksburg, OH 44627, or email John at jlorson@alonovus.com.