Aw, nuts!

Off to a good start, I woke this morning to a notification in my phone messages announcing that a pistachio and chocolate combination burns fat, lowers blood pressure and feeds a healthy gut. Well, read no further – sign me up. I already make a decent fudge of chocolate, mini marshmallows and peanuts. Why not swap out the peanuts for pistachios?

As far as I know, though, pistachios come in shells, begging to be de-shelled before popping into your mouth. Shelling nuts of any sort is an extra step I’m not all that crazy about doing. I want to just dive right in, not work for it. I don’t mind the chopping of nuts. I learned how to do that from someone like the Galloping Gourmet on daytime TV years ago. Now there was a character. Remember him? I think his name was Graham something. I think he was high as a kite, but so much fun to watch. Kerr – Graham Kerr.

Thanks to my own brain, not Google.

Then there was the time I happened to see Martha Stewart trying to show Oprah Winfrey how to chop nuts. I felt a little sorry for Oprah, who obviously can well afford to have people chop nuts for her any time she feels the need. I sat there and thought, oh my gosh, come on Oprah, are you kidding me? You don’t know how to chop walnuts? I learned at my grandmother’s kitchen table when I was old enough to be trusted not to whack my own fingers off. My grandparents usually had a dish of walnuts available for snacking during the holidays, complete with a tool to crack the nut open and another sharp little curved instrument – not unlike something you might see in the dentist’s chair – to dig out the “meat” of the nut. There was always a dish of Hershey’s Kisses nearby, so my grandparents were ahead of the game if putting nuts and chocolate together is such a good thing today. I had never even heard of pistachios when I was a kid.

Peanuts and walnuts. I think that was it. Except for the Christmas tin with those little round nuts with reddish skins and big white nuts that supposedly came from South America. Oh yes, because we called them Brazil nuts. There were pecans in that tin as part of the variety. In the end, cashews were my favorite. It seemed like there was a nut for every taste. I don’t remember any being left over at the end of the season. And sometimes it took that long to finish the tin, depending on how much company dropped by and how generous my grandfather was feeling about sharing.

So next time I’m shopping, I’ll check out the nut department for pistachios and, if they are anywhere near affordable, maybe bring some home to break open and try with a Hershey’s Kiss or two – if the Kisses are reasonably priced. But maybe before all that, I should bring out the blood pressure kit and take a reading to see if there’s any truth to that headline, as well as the scale for that “fat” part.

In the meantime, I already have all the fixings for my famous fudge, so I can get right to work on that. Our friend Charley will like that. As will ol’ Bill.