Wife covertly plans epic birthday adventure

The first thing everyone wants to know once they learn my wife and I just got back from a dream vacation in Hawaii is how in the world she ever got me to go. That’s a fair and honest question, as it’s clear to anyone who knows us that my own definition of an exotic journey is anything that carries me beyond 15 or 20 miles of my own backyard.

Frankly, when Kristin told me she was planning a “big adventure” for my 60th birthday, I was figuring on something along the lines of dinner at an all-you-can-eat soup and salad bar or maybe even an overnight stay at a state park campground, given the significance of the occasion.

Kristin, who sports travel credentials akin to those of Marco Polo when compared to mine, obviously had much bigger plans. The woman has been to Disney World multiple times for heaven’s sake. I, however, am not a “crowds” guy. Drop me in an urban megalopolis, and I’ll dissolve into a quivering puddle on the sidewalk. As such, there are places in this world I would never wish to visit, not even once — Disney World comes to mind immediately.

Furthermore, I love to learn about the things I see. So while standing on a beach and staring at a lovely sunset is nice, finding out that once the sun goes down I’m apt to stumble across a sea turtle scraping out a nest in the sand is a million times better.

While Kristin could have sprung just about anything on me for the sake of her own wanderlust, she knew that in order for me to fully embrace the journey, her plans needed to inspire a sense of wonder and contain at least a moderate amount of isolation.

Given these considerations, Kristin made a masterful play by contacting an old high school friend who lives in Hawaii. Tina holds the nature geek’s Holy Grail of dream jobs by working at a National Wildlife Refuge. There, upon the wind-swept cliffs of a tropical island overlooking the endless Pacific, she watches over the breeding grounds of at least a half-dozen different species of rare sea birds and educates mere mortals on their ways. Would Tina be interested in having an old pal visit for a spell? She practically planned the entire trip for us within days.

That the wheels were already in motion by the time Kristin sprang this on me was key. Had that not been the case, I would have been quick to claim the quest was well beyond our down-home sensibilities in a thinly veiled effort to avoid admitting I was actually scared to venture that far from home. Well aware of this fact, she’d already made all of the necessary bookings and reservations before speaking a word of her plans. Needless to say, I was gobsmacked at the big reveal.

“Wait, are you serious?” I gasped. “We’re going to Hawaii to see sea birds and turtles?”

“That is correct,” Kristin said. “We are basically going to the most un-John Lorson place on the planet to do the most John Lorson thing I could possibly think of.”

Kristin and John Lorson would love to hear from you. Write Drawing Laughter, P.O. Box 170, Fredericksburg, OH 44627, or email John at jlorson@alonovus.com.