A story far too familiar brings Vander, Maine family close

For those who have lost a child, father or loved one in the throes of serving their country as United States military members, the pain and anguish never leaves.

However, sharing the stories of those killed in action when they were alive is a way for those family members to heal.

Noel Vander has been involved in the Wreaths Across America ceremony for 17 years, including many at Arlington National Cemetery and several in Maine, where he has a special connection to one particular service member who was killed in action, both hailing from Maine and both attending the same college, albeit many years apart.

Capt. Chris Sullivan was a young man who was deployed overseas to Iraq in December 2004 and killed Jan. 18, 2005, when an explosive device detonated by his vehicle.

“It’s a devastating story,” Vander said. “He left a wife and an 8-month-old infant behind.”

Vander said stories like this one are far too common, but it is because of the steadfast desire to protect from those who serve.

Vander was touched by his story and developed a relationship with the family, and through the national service Wreaths Across America, he has been given the chance to share with the family and share their memories of their son and brother.

Vander has volunteered with the Wreaths Across America project at Arlington Cemetery in Virginia for many years before returning to his home state of Maine for one simple reason. He wanted to spend time with the family of Sullivan.

“The service at Arlington is very somber, and you don’t get much of a chance to chat with families,” Vander said. “The one in Maine is a bit more lighthearted where people can converse and get to know one another. Heading up there gave me a better chance to get to know Chris’ parents Dolly and Jim, who was a Vietnam veteran.

“It’s so meaningful to get together and remember and reminisce and just spend time together. When you think you’re having a bad day, you just have to think about what these men and women who have served and paid the ultimate price and their families have gone through.”