Column: 'Parts are parts' doesn’t apply to house parts

Whoever said “ parts are parts” never owned a home. House parts are unique. Take the standard water closet. When a particular model is produced, each one is identical to the others. But once installed in a house, the water closet begins to mutate. After a few years, that standard porcelain fixture has evolved into a one-of-a-kind. If you have doubts, break the tank top and see if you can find a replacement that matches and fits.

After a particularly violent attack by a wind storm, the gutters on one side of our house were mutilated. Though only 10 years old, those gutters were matchless. To spare our house embarrassment, we had to replace all the gutters at about twice the cost of the originals.

A friend’s house was suffering from old, loose, ill-fitting windows. The drafts in that old place almost sent their cat airborne. Since all their windows were standard size, replacement should have been a breeze. It wasn’t. What was standard size 40 years ago is by no means standard in modern times. The house got expensive, new windows, and her owners got a second mortgage.

“Homeowners Law” is definitely at work here. A house is made up of 100s of parts, any one of which is subject to breakdown, usually at the most inopportune time. Hot water heaters are a case in point for “Homeowners Law.” They are known for their propensity to break down and leak all over the place, often on major holidays. Not only is the part unattainable, but so is the repair person.

Replacing faucets or parts of faucets is another exercise guaranteed to raise homeowners’ blood pressure. These parts are readily available in myriad styles and sizes, none of which is just like the one being replaced. Mature, responsible homeowners have been known to jump up and down, screaming curses while trying to install a new faucet over the holes left by the old faucet.

All homeowners must expect some “parts panic" in their home lives. It just comes with the territory. Some see it as a challenge; others see it as a punishment for past sins. Either way, experienced homeowners know “parts are parts” doesn’t apply to house parts.

Laura Moore can be emailed at lehmoore1@gmail.com.