OneEighty to present Domestic Violence: In Her Shoes

Many people live quiet, happy and unassuming lives that go from day to day without physical harm, but in relationships where one member in the relationship is abusing the other, that is a pipe dream.

Those struggling through life in a domestic abuse relationship don’t experience the joy of a caring relationship on a regular basis, instead living with the agony of knowing one small misstep, word or action could trigger a burst of outrage that could lead to violence.

Living in fear has become a way of life.

One of the purposes of OneEighty is to break that cycle of domestic abuse and get the abused partner, oftentimes the woman, to a safe haven where he/she can finally take a deep breath and collect his/her thoughts on what the next steps should be.

In an effort to share these types of experiences with the public and to bring to light the severity of the consequences those abused face every day, OneEighty will present Domestic Violence: In Her Shoes on Monday, Oct. 23. This free event will be held at 34-C S. Clay St., with several time slots available including 9-11 a.m., 2-4 p.m. and 6-8 p.m. Reservations are required.

According to recent statistics released from the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, 20 people suffer from domestic abuse every minute in the United States, most of them women and children.

That means there are a number of women, children and even men who are enduring life in an abusive relationship.

According to Tina Zickefoose, outreach specialist and advocate for OneEighty, domestic abuse is a product of environment.

“Domestic abuse is not something people are born with. It is a learned behavior,” Zickefoose said. “Nobody is born and thinks to themself, ‘I think I’ll become an abuser.’”

October is Domestic Abuse Awareness Month, and its purpose is to draw attention to just how difficult domestic violence is and how far-reaching the effects can be.

“There is a great deal of emotional baggage that accompanies those being abused, even when they are able to break the cycle and get out of the relationship,” Zickefoose said.

OneEighty is committed to helping break that chain and aid those suffering from domestic abuse through the presentation of In Her Shoes, an awareness program that puts people into those types of situations, where the results range from victory to death.

In Her Shoes features nine different scenarios drawn from real-life situations where domestic violence occurred. Those in attendance will be allowed to experience two of these scenarios, with different possible outcomes. Those attending In Her Shoes will have to make choices as they move through each exercise, picking from options that can lead them to safety or down a path that can ultimately end in divorce, remaining in an abusive situation, finding a new life outside of the abuse they are experiencing or at times even death.

“It’s powerful and painful and very realistic as to what can happen in these abusive situations,” Zickefoose said.

Like many who believe they can make the right decisions to navigate through each scenario to arrive at a peaceful and rewarding conclusion, Zickefoose said she herself struggled to do the right thing her first time through. She quickly found confusion led to uncertainty, and the right choices ended up somehow down the wrong road.

“The devastating part is you feel so sure you’re making the right decisions, but at times you end up with horrifying results,” Zickefoose said.

After each session the entire group will come together to discuss what they have experienced and to decompress.

She said this program, now in its 10th year in Holmes County, has made a significant impact for the people who have gone through the sessions, and it can present an eye-opening look into the world of domestic abuse, delivering a variety of messages in ways many people never thought about before.

“Domestic violence is a culture that must be broken because it does affect future generations,” Zickefoose said. “Our hope is that by having people go through the process of In Her Shoes, they will become more understanding and more empathetic as to why people stay in abusive relationships. These are people who more than likely loved each other at one time. More than likely, the abused person still loves the person they married, but that person doesn’t exist anymore.”

Each patron will get to choose the first scenario they want to go through, but Zickefoose will provide the second scenario for them based on the first one. She said she is very intentional in wanting to give people the entire picture of what can take place in a home where domestic violence is prominent.

“Things don’t always turn out pleasant in these cases,” she said. “Sometimes the characters make it out, and sometimes they don’t, but it paints a vivid picture of what it’s like to live in the shadow of domestic abuse.”

Zickefoose is a registered advocate with the State of Ohio and a national advocate through the National Organization for Victims Assistance. To register for the event, call Zickefoose at 330-804-5837.