My aging cabbage leaf ears

My sisters used to laugh at one of my ears and taunt me, “Cabbage Leaf.” It is kind of hard to see your own ears even in a mirror, so I took a photo of my ear. I still can’t figure out what is so funny about it. But hey, I love my sisters and we all teased each other from time to time.I have also been totally deaf in one ear since childhood. How my mother discovered it (I love this story) was that I was ignoring her when she whispered to me in church. She always adds that I was such a good child, that me ignoring her was unusual. I don’t know why she needed to whisper to me if I was such a good child, but who knows.So she started testing me in various settings: in the car, at the table, wherever. She thought I was having hearing problems, and surmised it was because of a severe case of whooping cough at the age of 5.Eventually she took me to a hearing specialist and he confirmed Mom and Dad’s suspicions: stone deaf in the left ear. The doctor said there was nothing that could be done. As a young child and young Christian I would occasionally pray for the gift of healing until I figured out that there were much much bigger things that needed prayer.I think of a family whose young daughter suffered a significant head injury on one side of her head after a fall from a dresser when she had on one of those ponytail holders with the big plastic baubles. Her parents began wondering if she had a permanent hearing loss. She was smart enough to quickly pick up lip reading and responded anytime they talked to her face on, but not when talking to her across the room or in a vehicle. When they took her to get her hearing tested, she was also smart enough to quickly read the eyes of the audiologist or technician to pick up facial clues as to when she should press a buzzer. Eventually she was helped with a hearing aid and also became adept at lip reading.Regarding my own hearing loss, many years later another doctor told me that it was more likely childhood mumps that affected my hearing than whooping cough, as deafness on one side is a fairly frequent side effect of mumps. Many times when I tell people I’m deaf on one side they say, “I am too,” or “I know so and so…” It is officially called Single Side Deafness and there is even (of course) a website, www.singlesidedeafness.com.Recently I’ve been bothered by tinnitus in my good ear, which seemed to have affected my hearing. I didn’t want to have my children force me to go to an ear doctor so I recently made an appointment myself. I don’t want to be in denial about the aging process, right? After all, a number of years ago I wrote a “Loving Legacy” pamphlet helping parents and children discuss these kinds of issues as we get older. (Contact me for an email or paper copy.)Like I told the local ear, nose and throat specialist in my recent visit, being deaf on the left side was the most bothersome during my dating years (back when people did such things). Sitting side by side in a car, with my left ear to the guy, I often couldn’t hear the sweet nothings. That would bring out a quick explanation from me, “Uh, I’m deaf in my left ear, so if I ignore you, please forgive me.” It was also an excuse to turn my head almost around so I could hear better—not a bad thing, especially if he was really cute.After a thorough exam, the specialist, Dr. Gates, said that yes, I continued to be totally deaf on the left side, (as he said, surprise, surprise), but that my right side was surprisingly good (and he did not add, “for your age”). I registered some hearing loss in the highest ranges but very good scores for most of the ranges. I was ecstatic even though Dr. Gates said there was really nothing he could do for my tinnitus since other factors a doctor looks for (infection, dizziness, etc.) were not present. I can live with that.After the good news of the exam, I vowed to do a better job of always wearing hearing protection when using loud equipment, even when my husband is not around. (He’s something of a hearing protection freak. Wonder why.) But he’s a wise man. He is also quick to give sermons to kids piping music directly into their ear drums at levels that you can hear outside the ear buds.May was better hearing month but you don’t need to wait until next May to do what I did and get a check-up from a doctor (and not someone advertising a sale on hearing devices). The sense of hearing is a precious gift.So don’t be afraid to get your hearing tested. There is no shame in doing so—even though it can threaten your ego. The news could be better than you expected.For a free pamphlet looking at various issues families face as parents age, “Loving Legacy,” contact me for a free email version, or a paper copy by regular mail. Write to me at melodied@mennomedia.org or Another Way, Box 22, Harrisonburg, VA 22803.Another Way is a column from MennoMedia by Melodie Davis. She is the author of nine books, most recently Whatever Happened to Dinner and has written Another Way since 1987. She also keeps a blog at www.FindingHarmonyBlog.com.